I usually don't write much about myself on this blog. I try to just use it to update photos of the kiddos, family, or major events in our lives. However, as I look at the date of my last entry I think this is the perfect time to post something I've been thinking about quite a bit lately. Yesterday I was catching up on some of my friend's blogs then I went to my page and thought, "Jeez-o I can't even keep up with blogging. We'll just add that to the ever-growing list of things I'm not good at." I started to feel like a loser because I wasn't posting frequently or don't write as eloquently as others or am not as creative as so-and-so. I thought some more and thought about all the times I compare myself to other women, mommies, friends, family in my life. It's a daily thing. I often find myself wishing i was more (fill in the blank) or less______. You get the idea. You see, I used to spend alot of time being unhappy with myself so I can recognize a downward spiral when it's on it's way. I start to feel down on myself, then start to hyper-focus on the negative, then start to get super sensitive to things others say, then start to retreat...blah, blah, blah. The point is I did a little exercise. I made a list. That's right, a list of all the things I am just not good at. Here is a sampling of that list
- Singing
- keeping up with my blog
- keeping ALL of my commitments, (some may even describe me as a flake)
- driving
- scrap booking
- printing out the pictures I've taken
- remembering to write thank you notes
- accessorizing
- drawing
- any sport involving a ball
- making it to church every Sunday
- Speaking about my faith with others
- being diplomatic
- gardening
- keeping up the backyard
- sewing
- being the "mom who is always on the go."
- dancing
- washing the car
The list goes on and on. Why would I do this? Well, as I read the list, the fact is I am Okay with most of the items listed. So what if I can't sew a button back on my husband's shirt. The local tailor can help me. So what if I can't grow my own vegetables. That's why I go to the farmer's market every Saturday. I asked myself, "If you are so Okay with these things, then WHY are you comparing yourself to others constantly?" Hmmmm....
So I made a list of things I am good at. It goes something like this
- Trying
- cooking
- getting on the ground and playing with my children
- loving my saviour in quiet ways
- cleaning
- organizing
- laughing (at the good, at the bad, at myself.)
- being silly
- listening
- Teaching my children about God's perfect love
It came to me. The good, I believe by far outweighs the bad. The list of things I'm not so good at may be much longer, but it's quality I'm after, not quantity.
AND...I'm very good at trying. Trying new things, trying to improve the things I want to improve.
But for today, I'm not going to TRY to be everything that everyone else is. I'll just try to be the best ME that I can be.
At the end of the day, if I can say I've tried my best then that's good enough for me! Hopefully it's good enough for you too!
